Don Tipps Announces Plans to Have Affair With Ken PAxton

Amarillo City Councilman Don Tipps held a press conference in front of a massage parlor in the mall yesterday, where he announced plans to seek an affair with Senate candidate and Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton.

"I would like to preemptively apologize to my family," said a casually dressed Tipps. "Once the news leaks, I plan to be deeply ashamed of my actions."

Tipps is rumored to be planning a run for Mayor in next year's local elections. When asked if he is worried this will affect his political future, he said "not unless it comes out, but I'm good at keeping secrets." He further stated that, no matter the damage it could cause him, "Paxton has a body that just won't quit. Just look at him!"